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Thursday, November 08, 2007 @ 1:29 PM

"what the hell happened to that. why couldn't we just settle our fights properly instead of one cursing and swearing at the other and one just in tears, dumbfounded and can't do a single thing to make things better. i thought no matter what happen, no one's supposed to walk away. no one. never allowed to walk away. because i thought we were strong enough. but i guess everything is wrong. everything i thought is all wrong. no one can really cheer me up when it comes to this matter. because i took this whole freaking relationship fucking seriously and damn, this is what happens. i mean, look at how happy we were at the beginning, look at how we were at loggerheads in the middle and look at how everything ended.and yes. truly, nothing lasts forever. don't trust that thought a single bit. i won't. definitely i won't. and yes, definitely, i would keep all the promises i made. every single promise won't be broken. even if he breaks them, i don't care really. even though i would be hurt but if he can't even give a shit about it, why should i care if he keeps his promises or not. sometimes, i just feel as if you really cannot understand me. and sometimes, i feel as if you understand me too much.oh what the heck. love's ain't got me lovestoned anymore. love is one piece of crap. to me of course. to all those couples out there, all the best of course. next time, when i get a boyfriend, don't ever wish me anything. because. i mean, just don't alright. makes my life easier and makes your life too. and till now, your words still hurt me every single day. but sometimes, when you love someone too much, you'll just be able to forgive every single mistake right? i did. but he didn't. and i couldn't understand why. things could be fixed. fights could have been stopped. all the hurt could have healed. but you chose to walk away. and i, in the end, is a complete mess. but really, you look happy now. so, i guess i should be happy because you're happy too. " from aisyah syaahindah's blog..

as i read her post..
i realise dat its almost the exact situation im in now..
girls..
tend to tink bout tings too deeply..
n ended up get doubly hurt..
by the one she loves n by herself..
haix..
i tried to b stronger..
i tried..
i jus wun giv up..
darn..i hate it..
a year plus has passed..
i cnt seem to trust guys anymre..
i tried getting over you..
gah!!

i hate tings at home..
im darn tired..exhausted..
wif my lil sis crying n irritating me..
gosh..
stop it will dey!!
i had enuf..

i jus had my operation..
no one seems to understand..
dey tink im joking..
the pain is excruciating..
but i hav to bear wif it..
my fever haven subside..
haix..
im being cooped up at home..
sometimes home feels like hell..
the constant scoldings n nagging makes me go berserk..
its driving me nuts..
stop pressurising me cn?!
I HATE IT!!!!

to aisyah:
darling..we hav to learn to let go of some tings..
be strong orite..
u r still young..
concentrate on ur studies..family..frens..
dey make ur life a better one..
not some guy..
he's nt worth it..
jodoh dah takde..
dun force orite..
let nature takes it course..
dun cry soo much..
i noe we cnt control our emotions..
but we hav to force ourselves..
never let urself be taken advantage by any guy..
if a guy reli loves u..he wun hurt u..
he will accept the real u..
u hav my back dearie...
loves..