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Sunday, April 27, 2008 @ 10:57 PM

i spent my sunday going to halaqah..
it was real worthwhile..
5 hours of jus sitting around my sisters..
i miss dem oredie..
i cried..while reflecting on myself..
i cried..cos i envy those older den me hu has donned the tudong..
while here i am..wanting to do dat..but dere's sth preventing me..
oh god..giv me the strength to withstand all these..
n finally break the barrier dats holding me back..

as i write this..little little tears flow down my cheeks..
i jus duno how to describe how i feel..
the different emotions dats going thru my mind now..
its like im in a big pool of water..
trying to gasp for air n stay afloat..

n again..
i miss him..
dis is frustrating..
i hate dis..
i wan to stop dis..
but i simply cant..
jus one mistake in life...cn make the rest of ur life miserable..
dis past follows me ard..
until the day i gav out my last breathe..

how i wish i could live in a secluded place wer i cnt get in touch wif anyone except ALLAH..
life would den b simple n a very meaningful one..

dats all for now..
off to read chapter 7 of child development..