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Thursday, December 25, 2008 @ 8:40 PM

dear diary..

isit ok for me to b at a loss at times?
wad is the truth?
am i afraid?
afraid that the whole world will jus crumble n fall into pieces?

smetimes i jus kip quiet..
pretending that everything is alright..
pretending that wadeva was said doesnt hurt me one bit..
the responsibilities i hav now..
isit too much for me to handle?
all i cn do is to jus hope..
hope that everything in my life will fall into place..
n that this world will be a place i dun dread living in..
cos smetimes i do feel like dis world is jus too much to handle..
n i felt like giving up..
to the extent of me having the thought that lead to me asking myself..
will the world b a better place without me ard?

i noe i shudnt hav these thoughts..
but i jus cnt help it..

17 years of my life has passed..
from a little girl to a teenager right now..
i hav grown..
im thankful im still breathing till today..

had a sleepless nite last nite..
toss and turn n still cnt go to bed..
a day at work has been tiring..
time spent wif the family was great..
n i miss you..
so much..

does running away solve aniting?
does self-denial prove aniting?
does being mean helps a person feel better?
i jus dun understand..
n all these actions do hurt a person's feelings..

so many tings on my mind..

assure me everything will b alrite..
cos smetimes i do feel like im on the verge of jus giving up..

ok im not emo-ing..
its jus sth i've been thinking about..
n i nid a space wer i cn jus pour it all out..

so till next time
bye diary
xoxo