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| Thursday, December 25, 2008
@ 8:40 PM
dear diary.. isit ok for me to b at a loss at times? wad is the truth? am i afraid? afraid that the whole world will jus crumble n fall into pieces? smetimes i jus kip quiet.. pretending that everything is alright.. pretending that wadeva was said doesnt hurt me one bit.. the responsibilities i hav now.. isit too much for me to handle? all i cn do is to jus hope.. hope that everything in my life will fall into place.. n that this world will be a place i dun dread living in.. cos smetimes i do feel like dis world is jus too much to handle.. n i felt like giving up.. to the extent of me having the thought that lead to me asking myself.. will the world b a better place without me ard? i noe i shudnt hav these thoughts.. but i jus cnt help it.. 17 years of my life has passed.. from a little girl to a teenager right now.. i hav grown.. im thankful im still breathing till today.. had a sleepless nite last nite.. toss and turn n still cnt go to bed.. a day at work has been tiring.. time spent wif the family was great.. n i miss you.. so much.. does running away solve aniting? does self-denial prove aniting? does being mean helps a person feel better? i jus dun understand.. n all these actions do hurt a person's feelings.. so many tings on my mind.. assure me everything will b alrite.. cos smetimes i do feel like im on the verge of jus giving up.. ok im not emo-ing.. its jus sth i've been thinking about.. n i nid a space wer i cn jus pour it all out.. so till next time bye diary xoxo |