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| Wednesday, January 21, 2009
@ 11:36 PM
n jus wen i tot its all over it never stops oh pls pls pls those words that came out every single word is not one bit encouraging ur younger den me but i dun even get any respect from u instead u sae im a nuisance im the noisemaker i create problems hu gav u the right to use my tings i never did giv u THAT right but out of love out of concern i chose to giv in in the end wad do i get from u? another tongue-lashing from u smetimes i do ask myself m i being a good daughter? m i being a good sister? its not easy for me but im trying my best to put myself in ur shoes the more i grow up the more i have to endure the more i hav to giv in but is all of it worth it? n all u did was to threaten me smetimes i do wonder will life be better without me around? i nid time out but all of u r jus going against me u jus cnt see me leading my own life if im not needed here does it even matter if im present here or there? going through this rough patch of my life now without the support of the other one cos he's away n wen he's not here one by one starts to be extra sensitive n here i am trying so hard to make tings work cos i reli wan the best for them i hav no intention of hurting anyone being busy doesnt mean i neglected dem wif assignments n exam round the corner pls jus bear wif my busy n hectic schedule i noe that smetimes it seems like i dunhav time for u guys but deep down i reli reli do wan to jus spend time wif dem i'll sort tings out focus on sch aishah for now put on hold every other matter cos if u were to fail dis time the blame's on u not on anyone else n i cnt risk dis cos i wan to be THAT teacher who do more then jus teaching to young children n i wan to achieve my goals n dreams insyaallah i will realise dis dream of mine thanks for all the encouraging words that i hav been getting from all my frens im jus so thankful n greatful that i have u guys in my life now dun worry im alrite =) baby im jus so much in love wif u now n i cnt imagine my life without u i ask dis question to myself earlier y do i blog almost every single day? my answer its jus a way for me to express everyting that is on my mind n let all these experiences/memorable moments always be remembered, not forgotten xoxo aishah |